Last Valentine's Day Card


Julie and I NEVER dated our special occasion cards.


If that line sounds familiar, you've been doing your reading! Wrote that on January 21, 2008. As of 3 a.m. this morning, I stand corrected!

I'm up at this hour...because I always am...a habit I acquired over the past ten years of uncertainty. But, also, because I just finally gave up on yesterday and went to bed early last night. As they say..."Early to bed, early to rise."

Bad days and good days...yesterday was one of the bad ones. And, as I have now discovered early on, it ain't over...

The "final straw" last night was an e-mail I received upon arriving home after attending the school board meeting. Don't get me wrong, the e-mail was greatly appreciated...



The insight contained in that that final sentence was so moving...


When I awoke to this new day, I still had a lingering Valentine's Day hangover...of the nonalcoholic variety; pure emotion. This melancholy prompted me to drag out the "card box". Yes, my anal self has managed to organize (somewhat) our memories. And...to make a liar out of me, the very first (Valentine's) card I opened was dated. It was the only Valentine's Day card to be dated, and, as with the Birthday Card, it was the last...



Then, for a truly emotional blow, appeared a heart which had been attached to carnations delivered annually at school on Valentine's Day. It was undated, but there was no mistaking the date...February 14, 1975. I know this because it was addressed to me from "Pookie and Julie". "Pookie" was our term of endearment for our unborn daughter...who would be stillborn 11 days later. God bless you, Christie Ann...



And, to continue to downward slide of the emotional roller coaster, I came across several of the cards that I have alluded to previously...happy occasion cards that contained a message indicating that we were none too happy at the time. A couple of examples, one each...




Finally, came a message that was both uplifting and shattering - a love fulfilled...and lost.

It was another dated "card". However, I don't count this one as "a lie" because it was actually a letter. From Julie's words, it must have been on an occasion that was not happy...but not our fault. Apparently, Julie was incapacitated from a surgery and unable to get out and purchase a Valentine's Day card for her "loving husband, Ronnie". As you can see, such circumstances didn't stop her from expressing her feelings...



Oh, God, I miss you, Julie...I love you!

Thank you, Julie, for sharing your dreams, your love, your life!

Forgive me for ever causing you pain...

Happy Valentine's Day!