In The Ear of the Beholder


Been "watchin' the clock" the last few days...wishin' and hopin' to be inspired. Almost two weeks since the last posting...

To "jog" my mind, decided to go for a walk...a power walk.

Actually, I started walking two days ago...something I'd been planning on since the beginning of June. Hey, better late than never...although my long dormant muscles inform me that since it is so late, never might have been the best option.

I used to walk regularly. In fact, I used to jog regularly...maybe 20 years ago. It's true what they say about walking and jogging being addictive. IF you can make yourself start, it quickly becomes something that's hard to stop. Aficionados become almost "postal" in their pursuit, that "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers..."

And...the "runner's high"?

Well...you'll have to ask somebody else about that phenomenon. When I did jog, oh, so many years ago, it hurt from the first step to the last!

Actually, there was ONE day...I actually found the right stride or something.

I had a path that circuited Cairo. It measured 4 miles and I would run that every day during the summer. I'd tell Julie I was off...that I'd be back in about an hour. (Never said I was fast!)

Well, as I said...THAT day I found my stride.

Just as I am finishing up and a couple of blocks from home, here comes Julie in the car. She says "Where have you been, I've been worried about you...thought maybe you had dropped dead of a heart attack!" Julie wasn't smiling...obviously concerned.

It seems that when I completed my usual circuit, I caught my second wind...and just kept running, doing TWO circuits that day...a total of 8 miles. Needless to say, THAT took longer than my usual "hour". I apologized profusely, but Julie just shook her head, said "You're a nut", and drove back home.

I've mentioned before that Julie and I used to go on long vacations...basically for the whole month of July. Normally, we would get a condo overlooking the ocean. Julie and I would go out for walks on the beach in the early morning for exercise. (Yeah, we did some leisurely walks at sunset for more romantic purposes.)

Unfortunately, Julie's sun allergy and arthritis condition eventually put her on the sidelines. Being addicted, I continued my solo pursuit briefly until one morning I "perceived" that Julie was disappointed at having to stay behind. At the time (and in retrospect), I don't think Julie really minded...in fact, I'm sure she would have been disappointed to think that I was giving up something because of her health conditions. However, I started thinking...and for me that's often a bad thing. I've related my "guilt trips" in previous posts and this was another such occasion. Doing solo runs started bothering me...like I was reminding Julie that SHE could not get out and run...even walk on the beach. So, I quit.

After a couple of days, Julie asked "What's wrong...why aren't you doing your jogging?" I just said "I got tired of it...always has been a pain." And, that was that.

Once you break the habit, or at least when I break the habit, the addiction fades in a hurry...not to return. And, if you want the full morbid truth...walking and running is supposed to be healthy, right? Allow you to lead a long life, right? THAT was not high on my priority list...never was, and with Julie's declining health, it became even less important.

But, that was then, this is now!

Folks keep saying I need a hobby...a distraction. They don't think reading is enough. They say I need to get out of the house!

Nag, nag, nag!

Okay, WALKING is my answer. IF I can make myself start again...

And two days ago, I did!

Yesterday, I decided that I needed to freshen up the tunes on my MP3 player. That's because, as usual, I overdid myself on the first day...walking too far, and having no choice but to return. On the way back to the house, I began thinking of my trek as a "death march", emphasized by the fact that I had long ago put the songs from Julie's funeral service on my MP3 player.

Since I had not yet listened to the new Eagles album in its entirety (stopping with "You Are Not Alone"), I loaded it up, figuring a double album ought to get me through the streets of Cairo...and then some.

Well, as you know, I'm into "signs"...especially if they are delivered by birds of prey. So, it's not too surprising that by the time I got home today I would have a new story to tell.

I've told you before, that I don't go looking for signs...they just happen. When they happen, I write them down immediately so they will NOT be molded in hindsight into something more impressive than it was at the time. In short, I try to stick to the facts...not using personal opinions to embellish events.

Today's "sign" is different.

In fact, it's not a sign at all. It is an example of interpreting something as you would want it to be...a seeking of signs. It also is an example of how one's perspective can definitely color what you see/hear...what you want to see/hear.

As I was returning home, eagles began to sing...

Okay, The Eagles had been singing from the beginning, it's just that they got to a song that "hit me"...from MY perspective. I believe the song to be intended as a lament by a lover over the end of a relationship. However, these same words can take on an entirely different meaning to one who has lost a loved one through death.

In this context, I could hear Julie Newell speaking/singing to me...and to the rest of you whom she loved so dearly!


It's Your World Now
By The Eagles


A perfect day, the sun is sinkin' low
As evening falls, the gentle breezes blow
The time we shared went by so fast
Just like a dream, we knew it couldn't last
But I'd do it all again
If I could, somehow
But I must be leavin' soon
It's your world now

It's your world now
My race is run
I'm moving on
Like the setting sun
No sad goodbyes
No tears allowed
You'll be alright
It's your world now

Even when we are apart
You'll always be in my heart
When dark clouds appear in the sky
Remember true love never dies

But first a kiss, one glass of wine
Just one more dance while there's still time
My one last wish: someday, you'll see
How hard I tried and how much you meant to me

It's your world now
Use well the time
Be part of something good
Leave something good behind
The curtain falls
I take my bow
That's how it's meant to be
It's your world now
It's your world now
It's your world now


POSTSCRIPT: Well, maybe I was wrong in my first interpretation of the song. Surfed the Internet some...looking for the meanings of songs. Found this blurb:

"The Eagles would never leave us without holding out a ray of hope to end the album. "It's Your World Now" passes the baton. It puts the world, and our fate, into our own hands; more appropriately, it puts it into the hands of the next generation."

I still stick with my "Julie Interpretation"...